I am concerned about our words. Or maybe I should say our choice of them. In just this past week we have had the ongoing discussion about David Letterman’s disparaging words about Sarah Palin and her family, and the Holocaust Museum murder which began in words. Don Imus participated in all of this some time back, with his disparaging and demeaning words regarding the Rutgers Women’s Basketball team. So many correspondents and writers do the same, confusing candor with rudeness, and truth with self aggrandizement. Just today, a delivery was to be made to our home and my wife called to ask about time, and how it would be made. The man on the other end of the phone found it necessary to tell my wife that “if you send a good looking woman out and she bats her eyes they will do just about anything you want.” He had no idea who he was talking to, and this, while probably harmless was simply unnecessary and I would say deeply connected to David Letterman.
It has been even more interesting to hear all the words used to either defend or castigate on either position and even more the unwillingness to often to say the words, “I am sorry.” I have to sit back and wonder why we do this to one another? What has made us so disconnected as to never take into consideration the human, and for me, the child of God on the other end of the remark? I know it’s not new, but we constantly profess to be an enlightened people. I see little of it in such events as this. It would be nice to say that the Church is different and has risen above all of this but sadly, it appears often to jump right into the river of innuendo and loose speech. We tend not to check in with one another about misunderstandings or the need for clarification, we just lob the proverbial “word grenade” into the middle of our existence.
Just this week I received an email from someone in another diocese asking me to
support a certain position in the church.
I have to admit I found the email compelling and perhaps I even agreed
with most of it, but I was, like whiplash, stopped cold when I read the last
line of the email. In it this person basically said that we, the Episcopal
Church, should not be swayed by the “ignorance”of those in other
countries. I wrote back that while I
understood her position and feelings I was troubled by the use of the world
ignorance, which in most cases always comes with a blind dose of arrogance on
the part of the one who would choose to use it as such. It also baffles me why one who wants to truly
engage with others, if that is truly what is desired, would put such a
demeaning last line, or use this word which only serves to end the conversation
for so many? I also had a person in this
diocese opine that the problem with youth and young adults today is their
“ignorance.” I know ignorance truly
exists, I have it and prove it in countless ways all on my own. I know it is not simply an abstract concept,
but I have to wonder if ignorance is not often the chosen word we use when ones’
views do not match mine. If so, then the
person utilizing the word is misusing it.
I was once told by a wise priest I loved, not long dead, that orthodoxy
was when your “doxy” and my “doxy” agreed.
We use this word the same way.
As we head for General Convention, I am truly hoping we might find better, more charitable words to use with one another. I don’t think we need weaken our beliefs and thoughts on issues and positions, and still have a civil, gentler, more Christian conversation. I hope those in my circle will pull me up short if they see me doing otherwise. If we truly want to be a witness to the world, this would be a great place to start. I pray for that.
